Have you ever felt the sudden, undeniable, unavoidable conviction of the Holy Spirit? I thought I had. Until yesterday, I thought I had been uniquely familiar with the movement of the Spirit in my life. But God humbles the proud by moving unexpectedly and yesterday, standing behind the teller line, staring at the ceiling, not really thinking, just being peaceful, the very presence of the Holy Spirit moved on me, like I have never before felt.
I have been restless about my job. I know that the Lord has things in motion that I cannot possibly see yet and I have faith in that, but I felt like I was standing still and, hyper as I usually am, it was not a good place for me. I have been applying for jobs, seeking writing and/or editing positions where I can write for God (not just anything). So I was thinking about this and the Holy Spirit moved and said, "It's time," and flooded my mind with the conviction to go back to school for my masters. I have been thinking about it on and off for a while, but not in any concrete way (mostly because I am not a good test taker and the GRE is well... a test). But I just started writing, listing what it would take to go back and where. And without even really thinking, the answers were already there: DBU, scholarships, grants, GRE. It was so simple, I don't know why I didn't think of it before. But the truth is that I wasn't yet ready for it.
When I got home, my mother reminded me that my original plan was to only take a year off, and wonder of all wonders, even though I forgot that, the Lord reminded me of "the Plan" one year to the very day of my graduation and my return home. Isn't that something?
Acts 20:22-24
"And now, compelled by the Spirit, I am going to Jerusalem, not knowing what will happen to me there. I only know that in every city the Holy Spirit warns me that prison and hardships are facing me. However,
I consider my life worth nothing to me; my only aim is to finish the
race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me—the task of
testifying to the good news of God's grace."
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
Monday, May 9, 2011
The Race
Do you ever feel like life is a race and you're sprinting just to keep up? In that funny way that God always seems to act when I least expect it, my life has just been immeasurably blessed in the past few weeks, so much so that I am amazed that I can keep up with it all. Just realizing this has been a blessing!
First off today, well yesterday- it is after midnight, was Mother's Day and I don't know about you, but I have an amazing mother. Not only does she cook (and well, might I add) but she is just a really awesome person. She doesn't talk at me (unless I need it) and she's my friend, while still remaining my mother. We have a great relationship, but if you don't have a great relationship with your mother, I want to let you know that it doesn't just happen. It took us a very long time to get where we are now, lots of crying and shouting (we are both female, and black so by nature, we are somewhat loud). But the glorious thing is to look back and see how far God has brought us in the past few years, especially since we moved to Texas. Have I mentioned how much I love this state?
Secondly, we had our youth revival at Westside Baptist Church about two weeks ago and my spirit is still soaring from the experience! One of the things the visiting pastor, Pastor Bertran "Choo-Choo" Bailey, said is that, "when you look back over your past and you can look out into your future and see how God worked and will work, and then they slam together here in the present, you've just got to shout!" I'm paraphrasing wildly, but the message was so wonderful I just had to share!
Lastly, I am healthy!! The long gap between posts was a result of a medical storm that kind of took me by surprise, though I'm pretty sure all medical storms take us by surprise. I don't want to go into it, but suffice it to say, I am well again! And I just have to say that for all of those that I know that are battling things like cancer and some with illnesses I can't even name, I am believing God, the God that heals all wounds and heals us by His stripes, for your healing as well!
First off today, well yesterday- it is after midnight, was Mother's Day and I don't know about you, but I have an amazing mother. Not only does she cook (and well, might I add) but she is just a really awesome person. She doesn't talk at me (unless I need it) and she's my friend, while still remaining my mother. We have a great relationship, but if you don't have a great relationship with your mother, I want to let you know that it doesn't just happen. It took us a very long time to get where we are now, lots of crying and shouting (we are both female, and black so by nature, we are somewhat loud). But the glorious thing is to look back and see how far God has brought us in the past few years, especially since we moved to Texas. Have I mentioned how much I love this state?
Secondly, we had our youth revival at Westside Baptist Church about two weeks ago and my spirit is still soaring from the experience! One of the things the visiting pastor, Pastor Bertran "Choo-Choo" Bailey, said is that, "when you look back over your past and you can look out into your future and see how God worked and will work, and then they slam together here in the present, you've just got to shout!" I'm paraphrasing wildly, but the message was so wonderful I just had to share!
Lastly, I am healthy!! The long gap between posts was a result of a medical storm that kind of took me by surprise, though I'm pretty sure all medical storms take us by surprise. I don't want to go into it, but suffice it to say, I am well again! And I just have to say that for all of those that I know that are battling things like cancer and some with illnesses I can't even name, I am believing God, the God that heals all wounds and heals us by His stripes, for your healing as well!
Sunday, February 27, 2011
Going Beyond
This is just a short post about this past weekend because it's a Sunday night and I've got work in the morning with many things left to do before bed...
After what I'm beginning to call a Two-Service Sunday morning, a pot-luck at church, a whirlwind Babies R' Us tour and the cause of the shopping hit-and-run: my boss's baby shower, I have to admit, the forefront of my mind is just a little crowded and exhausted. But just beyond the sudden fright of the "Diaper Surprise" shower game and the left-over effects of the food coma from this afternoon, I can still hear the praise team back in San Antonio, still feel the Spirit moving on me and still hold the special gift of the Holy Spirit that was this conference in my heart. I completely agree with Priscilla Shirer when she said that there was something about that particular event, in that particular town in that particular church that was different than anything else that I'd ever experienced. I went to a Going Beyond event last autumn in Tulsa, well Broken Arrow to be exact and that touched me in an entirely different way because I was at a different point in my life just, what, six months ago! But now, I am completely surprised and elated that this conference met me in my need, both times.
Even now as I sit typing this, in my hammock at home in Flo Mo, it's a typical Texas night: atypical. The wind kicks up every now and then and I have to hold down laptop, journal, Bible, blanket and hope the water bottle still has enough in it not to go flying over the edge of the balcony. And then, out of the corner of my eye, I catch flashes of lightning. Aside from wondering if I should finish tonight's devotions inside, I am struck by how like a memory lightning can be. Without thunder, it is silent, like some of my memories, just flashes of emotions or scenes from this weekend: my sister, center stage at her school concert (first time I've seen her onstage in about 7 years!!) as her boyfriend, my cousin and I shout the house down for her, getting to church early and bleary-eyed, dinner at Papadeaux in San Antoino (YUM.), hands raised in praise, the tears running down a sweet old lady's face as we pray for God to meet her in her hour of need, Priscilla totally in the Spirit as she pulls out the greater points of Judges 6 for us, and bracing myself against the roof of the van to not go flying out of my seat as we hit yet another bump on the 5 hour drive down there and back (both rides kind of blend together... riding in the back of a 14-seater van is SO overrated). To say the least it was a wonderful weekend!!!!
And now the lightning is getting closer... I really should go inside... I'll try and post again on Wednesday!
G'Night! and God bless!
After what I'm beginning to call a Two-Service Sunday morning, a pot-luck at church, a whirlwind Babies R' Us tour and the cause of the shopping hit-and-run: my boss's baby shower, I have to admit, the forefront of my mind is just a little crowded and exhausted. But just beyond the sudden fright of the "Diaper Surprise" shower game and the left-over effects of the food coma from this afternoon, I can still hear the praise team back in San Antonio, still feel the Spirit moving on me and still hold the special gift of the Holy Spirit that was this conference in my heart. I completely agree with Priscilla Shirer when she said that there was something about that particular event, in that particular town in that particular church that was different than anything else that I'd ever experienced. I went to a Going Beyond event last autumn in Tulsa, well Broken Arrow to be exact and that touched me in an entirely different way because I was at a different point in my life just, what, six months ago! But now, I am completely surprised and elated that this conference met me in my need, both times.
Even now as I sit typing this, in my hammock at home in Flo Mo, it's a typical Texas night: atypical. The wind kicks up every now and then and I have to hold down laptop, journal, Bible, blanket and hope the water bottle still has enough in it not to go flying over the edge of the balcony. And then, out of the corner of my eye, I catch flashes of lightning. Aside from wondering if I should finish tonight's devotions inside, I am struck by how like a memory lightning can be. Without thunder, it is silent, like some of my memories, just flashes of emotions or scenes from this weekend: my sister, center stage at her school concert (first time I've seen her onstage in about 7 years!!) as her boyfriend, my cousin and I shout the house down for her, getting to church early and bleary-eyed, dinner at Papadeaux in San Antoino (YUM.), hands raised in praise, the tears running down a sweet old lady's face as we pray for God to meet her in her hour of need, Priscilla totally in the Spirit as she pulls out the greater points of Judges 6 for us, and bracing myself against the roof of the van to not go flying out of my seat as we hit yet another bump on the 5 hour drive down there and back (both rides kind of blend together... riding in the back of a 14-seater van is SO overrated). To say the least it was a wonderful weekend!!!!
And now the lightning is getting closer... I really should go inside... I'll try and post again on Wednesday!
G'Night! and God bless!
Sunday, February 13, 2011
God in Me
I grew up with a book in one hand, a pen in the other, and, though I seemed to have forgotten this for a while, Jesus sitting right next to me. Once I fully realized this awesome and amazingly splendifferous fact about myself, I stopped making apologies for who I am- a Child of God- and what I do- walk my life like Jesus is walking with me. Why do I say that? Because it seems these days that many people who believe in what they call "a higher power," seem hesitant to truly stand up for that belief because in doing so they exclude all other options. So, in an effort to fit the mold in this politically correct (PC) world, they say something along the lines of, "Well, you know, I really don't think I'm OK with that, I'm sorry, but it's no biggie, you do what you want..." Then they give a shrug of some sort and a facial twist that supposedly conveys remorse.
Admittedly I used to do this facial twisting, but now, now I know better.
Ephesians 1:4 tells us that, as Christian believers, we are chosen before Time began:
"Just as He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before Him in love, having predestined us to adoption as sons by Jesus Christ to Himself, according to the good pleasure of His will, to the praise of the glory of His grace, by which He made us accepted in the Beloved." (New King James version)
OK, for just a moment, let me pause to allow you to come to terms with what that truly means.
Got it? If not, please allow me the sublime task of spelling it out for you.
I don't know what you believe in- if you've given your life to Christ or if you have, as many have, given into the PC belief of "Evolution"- I only know what I know and that is this: before Time began- that is, before God said, "Let there be light," before TIME itself- you were chosen. I was chosen. We were all chosen... or not chosen as the case may be for you. The kicker is that you don't know if you're chosen until you come to the realization of it in the present time. (If you follow, we were before time, now we are during time...) As my pastor was talking about in my Sunday Morning Bible Study (SMBS) class this morning, he unpacked John 6:29 (Jesus answered and said to them, “This is the work of God, that you believe in Him whom He sent.”), saying that the work of God is to get you to believe in His Son. How? By causing you to believe, working in each life individually so that what brought me to believe, might not be what brings you to believe, might not be what beings Jack or Sally to believe.
I say all of this because it's why I no longer make apologies for who I am. Would you? Let me ask you this, if your father was, oh, let's say the President of the United States, or some famous chef (people have to eat, right?) and someone commended you on your stellar political predictions or the absolute perfection of your chocolate sufflée. Would you not, as most are wont to do, give a little plug for the person whose very knee you learned at? Would you not say something to commend, in turn, the person who taught you every.single.thing.you.know? Here's the short answer: You would. You would wax poetic on the highs and lows of learning at the the mixing bowl of the great Chef So-and-So. You would talk your listener's ear off about the time your daddy, The (ahem) President of the United States of America, took you to the UN address with him and you got to have high tea with the Queen mum and Prime Minister. You would milk it.
The question that I try to live under now is, why should my Walk with Christ be any different?
I don't make apologies for the color of my skin, or the color of my eyes. I don't apologize for the coined colloquialisms I pick up from my mother like "redi-teller" for ATM, or the occasional "like" that slips in as a space filler in conversations, completely betraying my Southern California childhood. I don't apologize for the fact that I can barely add 6 and 4 off the top of my head without counting my fingers under the table (there's a reason I let you tally the check). And I definitely don't apologize for the fact that I don't meet most people's shoulders in the height area.
So why? Why, why, why, why, why would I ever make an apology for believing as I do: that I was chosen for a specific purpose before the word Time was even a concept. Before there was light and dark, stars in the sky, and the first two babies in Eve's belly, GOD chose me. Little me. Just because He loves me and so that I might begin to learn how to love Him in return. And, as Pastor said today, it's all about GOD. You can't take credit for this!!" He does the choosing. It's up to us to do the listening and the changing.
Would I apologize for something I didn't do? Because I didn't have the power to save me. Only God did, and He is not going to waste His breath apologizing for doing it.
So I don't apologize. I listen, to God speak to me in that still, quiet voice, that silent whisper and I walk as He tells me to walk, growing more every day. Sometimes I think about life as learning how to live "on the fly," making it up as we go along, and it's just a matter of asking God the right questions. Please, allow me to share what He says with you. I'm not promising answers, not at all, but I will be as frank as I know how to be, plus a little silly in the bargain. Here's to us learning together!
Blessings to you and yours!
Sydnie
Admittedly I used to do this facial twisting, but now, now I know better.
Ephesians 1:4 tells us that, as Christian believers, we are chosen before Time began:
"Just as He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before Him in love, having predestined us to adoption as sons by Jesus Christ to Himself, according to the good pleasure of His will, to the praise of the glory of His grace, by which He made us accepted in the Beloved." (New King James version)
OK, for just a moment, let me pause to allow you to come to terms with what that truly means.
Got it? If not, please allow me the sublime task of spelling it out for you.
I don't know what you believe in- if you've given your life to Christ or if you have, as many have, given into the PC belief of "Evolution"- I only know what I know and that is this: before Time began- that is, before God said, "Let there be light," before TIME itself- you were chosen. I was chosen. We were all chosen... or not chosen as the case may be for you. The kicker is that you don't know if you're chosen until you come to the realization of it in the present time. (If you follow, we were before time, now we are during time...) As my pastor was talking about in my Sunday Morning Bible Study (SMBS) class this morning, he unpacked John 6:29 (Jesus answered and said to them, “This is the work of God, that you believe in Him whom He sent.”), saying that the work of God is to get you to believe in His Son. How? By causing you to believe, working in each life individually so that what brought me to believe, might not be what brings you to believe, might not be what beings Jack or Sally to believe.
I say all of this because it's why I no longer make apologies for who I am. Would you? Let me ask you this, if your father was, oh, let's say the President of the United States, or some famous chef (people have to eat, right?) and someone commended you on your stellar political predictions or the absolute perfection of your chocolate sufflée. Would you not, as most are wont to do, give a little plug for the person whose very knee you learned at? Would you not say something to commend, in turn, the person who taught you every.single.thing.you.know? Here's the short answer: You would. You would wax poetic on the highs and lows of learning at the the mixing bowl of the great Chef So-and-So. You would talk your listener's ear off about the time your daddy, The (ahem) President of the United States of America, took you to the UN address with him and you got to have high tea with the Queen mum and Prime Minister. You would milk it.
The question that I try to live under now is, why should my Walk with Christ be any different?
I don't make apologies for the color of my skin, or the color of my eyes. I don't apologize for the coined colloquialisms I pick up from my mother like "redi-teller" for ATM, or the occasional "like" that slips in as a space filler in conversations, completely betraying my Southern California childhood. I don't apologize for the fact that I can barely add 6 and 4 off the top of my head without counting my fingers under the table (there's a reason I let you tally the check). And I definitely don't apologize for the fact that I don't meet most people's shoulders in the height area.
So why? Why, why, why, why, why would I ever make an apology for believing as I do: that I was chosen for a specific purpose before the word Time was even a concept. Before there was light and dark, stars in the sky, and the first two babies in Eve's belly, GOD chose me. Little me. Just because He loves me and so that I might begin to learn how to love Him in return. And, as Pastor said today, it's all about GOD. You can't take credit for this!!" He does the choosing. It's up to us to do the listening and the changing.
Would I apologize for something I didn't do? Because I didn't have the power to save me. Only God did, and He is not going to waste His breath apologizing for doing it.
So I don't apologize. I listen, to God speak to me in that still, quiet voice, that silent whisper and I walk as He tells me to walk, growing more every day. Sometimes I think about life as learning how to live "on the fly," making it up as we go along, and it's just a matter of asking God the right questions. Please, allow me to share what He says with you. I'm not promising answers, not at all, but I will be as frank as I know how to be, plus a little silly in the bargain. Here's to us learning together!
Blessings to you and yours!
Sydnie
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)